Transformation Takes Time

I know where I’ve come from because I write down where I’ve been. The end of October has held many important events for me over the years: a first date with a guy who is now my husband, the first day of a dream job, the day I decided to leave a city I loved, the day I bought a new car and the day I signed a book contract. This is of course over the span of many years, and I’m grateful to have my journals to look back on, if I didn’t, I wouldn’t have remembered that all of these things happened around the same time of year. As the season transitions, it seems my life also does in some way too. My notes from Octobers are filled with lines about the leaves changing and big personal changes, about making tough decisions and exploring unknown paths but also lines about being proud, experiencing the excitement of something new and reminders to cuddle. It seems October is the time for transitions, transformation (and cuddling, please don’t forget to cuddle up, whether it be with a person or a good book, it’s that time of year.)

For the remainder of your October, a few lessons on transition and transformation. Those leaves you’ve been admiring over the last few days, that have only suddenly evolved and caught your eye, those trees had it in them all year long. And you do too! Transformation takes time.  

-There’s a reason, you just don’t get to know it yet.

-Sometimes you have to get it wrong to know you had it right.
I was working on an introductory lesson for a chapter of the book and wasn’t sure if I’d chosen the best lesson to expand on. After writing a great deal, I completely started over, writing in detail about an entirely different lesson. Only to then realize that what I had the first time was exactly what it should be. Sometimes you won’t know if something is right and you have to try on other items or ideas to make sure you have the best one or most comfortable one for you.

-Just because the dispenser is broken, don’t assume the container is empty.
Even when you’re washing your hands you can be learning. If a soap dispenser isn’t working, dig in, open the container, and see if there’s something there. And such is the way you should live life and treat your encounters and relationships. Things may not always work right or right away; you may have to dig in and work harder to get to know someone or determine if a job is right for you. If it doesn’t work on the first try, don’t assume there’s nothing there.

We are all works in progress.
You truly never know what’s waiting for you around the corner.

Focus on the things you want to be good at. Don’t get distracted by things others are good at.
In my early twenties, I often moved my marker for success based on the actions of others. (Don’t do this!) But it’s only in hindsight that I recognize this and can admit it. When I was in the moment, caught up in the idea that motion equaled progress, I didn’t realize that I was constantly moving the finish line, not necessarily moving toward it. Based on the achievements of others, I would rethink some of my own plans. If you friend publishes a book, be excited for her, but don’t think you have to start writing one yourself. If your old coworkers land jobs at Google, Apple and Amazon, don’t be upset with the decision you made to go work for nonprofits. Clearly you had a different end goal in mind. Let the success of others motivate you, pushing you toward your own goals, not toward theirs.

Remember those leaves and those trees, they’ve had it in them all year long.