The Host Can’t Leave the party

It’s almost the long holiday weekend, which for many of you will include a party or a barbecue or two. If you are a guest, that sounds lovely, if you are hosting, that’s lovely too but remember that the host can’t leave the party.

A difficulty I’ve encountered and a lesson I’ve learned the hard way is that when you are hosting a party, you can’t leave whenever you want to. I have truly felt stuck as the host of a large party with guests who wouldn’t leave, despite my clear change in attitude that it was time to go. It’s the worst when your good time transitions into a chore of too long of a time. I truly love hosting an adult dinner party or a group gathering, but I also love to sleep and go to bed early. These things have come in conflict for me before when I’ve been the host of a party. I was often the friend who left events at responsible times before things got sloppy, or who was known to Irish goodbye at the bar. I love being able to leave when I want, so the hardest part for me is figuring out how to subtly bring an end to a good time so that everyone can have a good bedtime.

You might not be as worried about your bedtime, but do keep this one in mind before you volunteer to host. And if you are worried about your bedtime, here’s one trick that has worked for me. Integrate cleaning up into a subtle last call, “I’m going to put these things away, can I get you one more drink while I’m up?” And then take the time to clean up and put some dishes away while you are getting what will hopefully be your guest’s last drink.

Happy hosting! And remember it’s Independence Day we’re celebrating, don’t forget to preserve yours and make some time for you too.