Lessons in work - For the Recent Graduate
Graduation season is one of my favorite times of year. It always reminds me of who I was when I was 21, an eager recent graduate and a slightly naïve young businesswoman with a head full of dreams for who I would become through work. As I sit here twelve years later, having worked in many roles in agencies, non-profits, for-profits and for myself as a small business owner, I can tell you that the role of work in your life is a most excellent teacher. And while there are some things you simply have to learn for yourself, here are some lessons I’ve learned in work over the years that feel particularly relevant for the recent graduate.
1. Your cover letter simply needs to get you an interview, not the job.
I’m confident I’ve written more than a hundred cover letters in my time. From all of my experience in this area has emerged one very important realization: Your cover letter doesn’t need to get you the job, only the interview. You don’t have to include all of your experience or your entire life story, so please keep it under the one-page limit. You just need to be interesting and qualified enough to get the interview, and then you can tell them more once you’ve gained the first step.
2. Believe you are capable until proven otherwise.
3. Meet the people you will actually be working with before you commit to working with them.
Gone are the days of arranged marriages for most cultures, so why should arranged employment be any different? Statistics show we’ll spend a third of our lives working, and since we spend as much time at work as we do at home each day, we should choose these people with the same care we would choose a life partner.
Meet the people you’ll be working with, even if only virtually, it gives you a more intimate understanding of the culture, a glimpse into the future goals and past experience of your peers, an opportunity to ask about the leadership and if nothing else, maybe someone to grab lunch or check in with on your first day.
4. Speak up, even if you are the seemingly least important or smallest person in the room.
Have you ever earned a seat at the table, but immediately been afraid of losing it? When I was twenty-eight, I started working for one of the world’s largest apparel and footwear brands, alongside some amazing veterans in the industry. I had a background in sports and my own expertise; I had earned my spot there, but sometimes I found myself feeling small as I gratefully sat among giants. I was eager to learn from them and also eager to earn their trust and praise. At times this led me to think I should keep my head down and my pen out, diligently taking notes. At other times it led me to look out and confidently share my point of view. I learned that you are in the room and at the table because you have something to offer, and hopefully it’s not just your note-taking skills. Don’t waste your spot or someone else’s. Step up, speak up, and offer what you think and know.
5. Focus on the things you want to be good at. Don’t get distracted by things others are good at.
In my early twenties, I often moved my own marker for success based on the actions of others. I touched on this topic briefly in the introduction to this chapter. But it’s only in hindsight that I recognize this and can admit it. When I was in the moment, caught up in the idea that motion equaled progress, I didn’t realize that I was constantly moving the finish line, not necessarily moving toward it. Coming out of college, I had a lot of really successful friends who got great jobs in big cities, were published for starting new ventures, and made it onto “30 Under 30” lists. Based on the achievements of others, I would rethink some of my own plans and say to myself, “Maybe I should consider a role in digital or tech,” “Maybe I should go to business school,” or “Maybe I should start making a product on the side.”
But I wasn’t good at digital, standardized tests, or making products. I was really good at building and cultivating relationships with creatives and clients. I was developing a passion for social impact without knowing it yet, and I loved the work and world of branding. If your friend publishes a book, be excited for her, but don’t think you have to start writing one yourself. If your old coworkers land jobs at Google, Apple, and Amazon, don’t be upset with the decision you made to go work for nonprofits. Clearly you had a different end goal in mind. Let the success of others motivate you, pushing you toward your own goals, not toward theirs.
6. It’s what you bring to the table, not how long you’ve been sitting at it.
Coincidentally, two companies I was associated with once had layoffs on the exact same day. One was the agency I worked for at the time and the other, was the company my Dad worked for. My company based who stayed and who went on the philosophy, it doesn’t matter if you have been here for years, contribution determines your worth. And fortunately, I stayed. My Dad’s company had the opposite mentality. Despite being the highest performer, my Dad got let go because unfortunately, he was the most recent hire. It’s frustrating that an organization with that approach still exists. It sends the wrong message. With anything in life, don’t get complacent. Make sure you are bringing your best self to the table and aim to work for organizations that value your contribution over your time clocked in.
7 . Don’t start a business email with “my apologies for…”. You immediately diminish your authority by opening with an apology.
“My apologies for the delay”, “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to get back to you yesterday”, these are very possible and probable things you might include in an email to a client, vendor, etc. In my first job as an account coordinator at an advertising agency, I too started an email to a client with an apology and I’ll never forget it. I was fortunate to work with a senior leader who walked over to my desk after I sent the email and shared this piece of advice, “Never start an email with my apologies for”, he went on to tell me how he believes that immediately diminishes your authority and position and that there are other ways to express your sentiment or share your update. This very small piece of advice has stuck with me for quite some time.
At times I’ll be writing an email and still find myself thinking an apology internally but instead I write something like, “Dear Client, Thank you for your patience in my reply…” Being grateful feels and appears much better than being sorry. As a young employee, it also meant a great deal to me to work with someone who walked over to my desk to impart this piece of wisdom. Find leaders like this in your life.
8. Creation and destruction often happen simultaneously.
It’s important to learn this lesson early in your career, so you don’t mourn the loss of too many ideas, roles or projects. I was in my first advertising job working on my second monthly campaign for a national fast food chain when I discovered that the excitement of a new advertising campaign, meant the end of the previous one. Even though it was work we had spent a great deal of time on or been very proud of, it had to come down to make space for the next promotion. We may not always realize it, but there is a constant exchange of resources going on in our lives, particularly when it comes to work.
This idea continued to prove true in other examples throughout my various jobs. When a company I worked for went through reorganization and new positions were created and posted, other positions were eliminated too. When a business I worked with developed a new system, an old one was used less often and eventually became obsolete. There’s no tragedy here, just the realization that when something is being built or prioritized, something else likely was dismantled or deprioritized in order to make it. And later I realized that not only was this true for job related events, but for the idea of work and its impact on me as a being.
I used to think that work defined me. It’s the first question many people ask at a cocktail party, “What do you do?” And it’s often a part of our introduction, the next thing we say after our names to identify ourselves. I love to work, I’m someone who identifies with professional success and contribution. So, trust me, I know it can feel natural to think that your work and what you do right now is the most important thing. The thoughts about what you will do next and who you will be, they can be all consuming. But these discoveries about creation and destruction reveal that work is evolutionary. While we are all busy participating in our crafts, we are also subtly and slowly crafting ourselves. You might prioritize one area of your interest in work and thus shift away from another, whether you even realize it or not. You could focus in on the goal of a new role and let that guide the decisions you make and relationships you cultivate. You may decide to remove something from your plate or your workload to make space for a new client or a new project you want to do. In each of these scenarios and in each of the career moves you make, you are both doing and undoing at the same time.
I spent much of my time in my twenties thinking that work was who I was. It turns out that work doesn’t define you, but it can refine you. I’ve learned to recognize that my identity isn’t a reflection of my job or title, but rather that all of the intentional doing (and accompanying undoing) of my career choices was actually molding the person that I am today. I hope you can learn to do the same.