You’re not here because you’re like everyone else…
Upon graduation from college, I moved to Atlanta, Georgia to begin my dream of working in advertising. About a year and a half after I moved to Atlanta, my older brother also moved there for work. I was working in account management at the Atlanta arm of a New York advertising agency, and he was a graphic designer for one of the most well-known design firms in the southeast. By some of the goals we’d set for ourselves earlier in life, we’d made it! We lived less than ten minutes away from each other, and being adults together in the same city felt like a gift, as we’d had a close relationship even when we lived far away.
Every Friday, my brother was responsible for contributing a blog post to his company’s website, which meant that every Thursday evening, either in person or by phone, I was reading and editing his draft. I enjoyed the role of being his sounding board and editor, an additional weeknight obligation that I happily took on. Maybe I should have added “Editor or Guest Contributor” to my own résumé after this season of life.
One Thursday night over the phone, we found ourselves discussing our skills and our roles within our teams at work. He was still very new to his team, and he was asking the questions that we all ask in some form when we’re encountering new experiences and new relationships: Where do I fit in with this group of incredibly talented people? How can I best contribute? What is my role here?
I wasn’t new at my job anymore; I had been there for over a year at that point, but his questions still resonated with me. No matter how comfortable or well acquainted we become, these questions remain relevant as we constantly evaluate and reconsider our days, striving to live our most effective and fulfilling lives. Our late-night blog editing conversation brought my brother to an unforgettable line, one that he said aloud more to himself than to me, “You’re not here because you’re like everyone else; you’re here because you’re you.”
It was an idea he landed on suddenly, that he didn’t need to be just like his coworkers, they each had their own role. To him it was a reminder of his purpose, his contribution, why he had been hired. He had been hired not because he fit a pre-existing shape, but because his individual talents and qualities made his company and his team more whole than they were before. He said this line and wrote it down that night for himself, and it was published on the blog the next day amidst other tips for taking on new challenges and playing one’s role on a team. But I wrote it down because I needed to hear it and remember it too.
I’ve always been very self-assured and disciplined in working to improve, but I’ve also always been eager to earn praise and garner reputation. In the early years of adulthood, it can be too easy to prioritize success and achievement and lose sight of who you are. You may quickly, and without even realizing it, find yourself working toward becoming someone you read about in a magazine or saw on LinkedIn. During this time in my life, I wasn’t always keenly aware of how I moved my marker for success based on the achievements and actions of others. I needed to remind myself that I wasn’t here to be just like my roommate or coworker, that I didn’t need to strive for the exact same things that my college friends were accomplishing. I was here, in this job, in this relationship, in this community, to be uniquely me and to strengthen my surroundings in ways that only I could.
How you define yourself, and the lens through which you view yourself, will shape many of the interactions and experiences that lie ahead. Start getting comfortable with personal growth. It can be something of a Trojan horse; it doesn’t always come in the ways you expect it to. Sure, it comes in the shape of learning to listen actively from a heart-to-heart with a best friend, or learning to remain measured in your confidence after an exceptionally poor or positive performance review. But it also comes from unmemorable decisions you made, simple acts you repeat every day, and events that don’t even happen to you at all. And most of the time, you see or feel the result of that growth only after the fact.
Personal growth can also be the realization of your own limitations, learning how to give yourself a quick fix of confidence, and finding the strength to keep going. Remember, you’re not here because you’re like everyone else; you’re here because you’re you. For once, it’s truly all about you and recognizing the opportunities that exist to enhance the incredible being that you already are. Growth is a gift, enjoy it.